I’m trying my very best here. Although it seems like I’m doing fine, truth is, I’m really emotionally fucked up inside. People just don’t understand.. but I don’t blame them. There’s alot to take in from my struggles. I’m a strong girl & I’ve handled the worst of situations, but the thing is.. they’re constant struggles. There’s alot on my plate & it’s over-flowing with problems that I just can’t take in all at once. In that moment of time, the easiest thing to do is to leave because I know that I’m better off w/o it. But of course, my conscience speaks to me. I start to think otherwise about why these situations are happening to me & actually try to find the best way outta it.. & as much as I try, the continuous disappointments lead me to a loss of hope. See, I’m already going through a handful. My relationship is already hard to keep up with, considering how all of the broken hearts, shattered feelings, and the deepest cuts ruined my well-being. In other words, after constant dilemmas, I’m not myself anymore. I’m much more sensitive & distraught. Then to top it all off? Negative shit continues to happen to me when I had good intentions from the very start. God knows I try my best to keep myself together even when I have every reason in the world to break down. It’s always easy to flash a smile here & there to make it seem as if you’re okay, but in your head all you’re thinking about is the problems that lurk behind that smile of yours = my life exactly.
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February/18/2012
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